Goddesses Don’t Wear Orange

Author: Laura Weber
Paperback: 324 pages
Publisher: Laura Weber; I edition (January 28th 2018)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0999648810
ISBN-13: 9780999648810

When Florence’s boyfriend dumped her, she cried, she drank tequila, she even stabbed a voodoo doll a couple of times, but she didn’t murder the bastard. Unfortunately, the jury didn’t see it that way. Now an inmate at Coffee Correctional Facility, Florence has just one chance at regaining her freedom: the mysterious Rehabilitation Seminars. All she has to do is be on her best behavior and she’ll be able to return home and resume her life of adventure (i.e. bralessly binge-watching reality TV while moustache bleach sears her upper lip). But, as it turns out, the prison gods are giant dicks. Because every step Florence takes toward freedom leads her deeper into her past-making her want to hide under the covers (discreetly double fisting cookie dough and Xanax). Add to that the unrequited love of the prison janitor and the attentions of a kind, intelligent, dry-humpable stranger, and this may be a rough year. Still, Florence is confident that she can survive it… you know, as long as she doesn’t stumble upon any dramatic, life-altering discoveries that cause her to question her basic assumptions about the world. Yep. As long as that doesn’t happen, she’ll be juuust fine.

What I thought: Laura writes with a dark humor that I absolutely adore. I literally want to be best friends with her. This book was easy to devour and I enjoyed every minute of following our Florence as she navigated through Coffee and the seminars. Her writing style reminded me of Sophie Kinsella – except if Sophie dropped a shit ton more snark and F-bombs. Those are always welcome in my book (calm down, you fascist jerk). I am very much looking forward to another book by Laura – that’ll be soon, right?

The Quote: …no man wants to end up on a date with a woman who might, on a whim, cut off his penis.

Why I chose it: I mean….I would…..just kidding. It was literally the line that sealed the deal for me. I had to read more – I knew, right away, that this was the type of humor I needed in my books

About the Author:

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Laura Weber is a professional at awkward encounters, meeting eccentric people, and clumsily learning life lessons…so she writes about it. Social worker by day, human being by night––she’s seen it all. Except for a teacup pig in a raincoat (but she lives in hope). She resides in Pennsylvania with her husband Aric and her dogs, Apollo and Olive.

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